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Instead of cruising bars for strangers, they can now hook up online and arrange to meet in a love hotel or apartment. Last year, artist Susumu Ryu tried to document the decline in a 276-page manga comic with the clumsy English title, "Vanishing Shinjuku Ni-chome – who severed the jugular of a flower garden of heretical culture?" Ryu blames gentrification associated with the opening of a new subway line, which has pushed up local property prices and made many of the tiny bars here unviable and the rise of the internet, which has given men with secret lives a way to navigate the world. "Now there are many other ways of communicating." "Are gays vanishing from Shinjuku Ni-chome!?," wondered one of the country's most popular magazines recently."This used to be a place for communicating with and discreetly meeting like-minded people," explains the organisation's head Mitsuo Fukushima. The once exclusively male gay clientele is filled out at the weekends with the straight, the female and the simply curious.
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The local commercial organisation that promotes Ni-chome estimates that the number of gay bars in the area has fallen by at least a third in the past decade. Amid the satyric excess, bilingual signs posted throughout telegraph the only constantly visible rule: "Gentlemen who chew gum" will be evicted from the premises.īut, roughly half a century since it emerged as a refuge for homosexuals in what was formerly a red-light district, the block is in decline. Wander around and watch the sights or lie back and wait for someone who fancies you, instructs one guide, which blissfully advises customers to expect "some mind-blowing tableaus". Soak in the sauna/bathtub then make your way up semi-naked through the floors, where porn flickers 24 hours a day in dimmed communal sleeping areas equipped with futons. Past the ticket machine – 2,600 yen (about £18) for a 13-hour stay – and pretty much anything goes, say guests who come from across Japan, and even abroad, to sample its treats.
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Only in the lobby, cheerily adorned with scenes from a sex movie that depict a portly company president being diligently serviced by a young apprentice, does it become clear that this is one of Asia's biggest gay landmarks. A steady stream of customers in the salary-man's uniform of dark suit, sensible shoes and winter overcoat files quietly through its innocuous doors. Tucked in off a back-street near the Shinjuku business and shopping district, the seven-story building could be an apartment block for retired civil servants. He’s been totally honest with her but it’s not enough for her.īased on a similar situation experienced by my friend, I believe that this man can do nothing right in her opinion.Nothing outside Tokyo's 24 Kaikan hotel hints at what goes on behind its grey concrete walls. That’s where the red flag shows in the wife’s response to her husband. With these connections, just being you is enough. Some connections between people are not traditional “crushes.” They’re on a deep spiritual level of just wanting to be around the other because of the joy they bring, and the acceptance that they show you. There are serious red flags in her response that she should address within herself through counselling (or whatever works for her). Reader’s commentary regarding the “Devastated Wife” (Oct. Take that curiosity home and try something different - massage each other after the kids go to sleep. Look at it this way: You experienced an arousal that can be a turning point in your sex life with your husband. It could lead to risking this man’s job if he responded to your vibe. You’d be anticipating the same reaction, perhaps even inviting it subconsciously. Now for the most important question: Would you be playing with fire to have your regular massage with him? Absolutely! You’ll soon enough know whether you’ve started into having hot flashes or this was an isolated reaction. There’s nothing “wrong” with you regarding that first encounter.Īs for menopause, age 40 can certainly bring some hormonal changes, including hot-and-bothering sweats, but they’re usually more negatively felt rather than a surge of sexual passion. What was normally a time for you of total relaxation became charged with sexual awareness. It’s not that surprising that, being met with an unknown and previously unexpected male in a small massage room in which you’re mostly naked, that you’d feel restless and awkward, at the very least. Or is this some kind of overdrive before menopause hits me?
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Is there something wrong with me to have gotten so turned on by a stranger? Would it be playing with fire for me to keep seeing him for massage?